Professor Xavier's A-Jerkin' Your Mind part II: Do As I Say, Not As I Do

In the first chapter of Professor Xavier's A-Jerkin' Your Mind, the New Mutants were at long last reunited with their old mentor. Charles had been in deep space with the Starjammers for months, after a destroyed warpgate made it impossible for him to return home.

But thanks to Illyana Rasputin's teleportation powers, he was virtually back in Westchester already...

Yet, as always, there were a few problems he had to deal with. For instance: last issue the Starjammer was damaged in the fight against Magus... And being in orbit of a planet that self destructed in the aftermath of that confrontation didn't help either.

Add to that the fact the Starjammers were wanted by the Shi'ar empress Deathbird, which meant bounty hunters everywhere were on the lookout. Long story short: the Starjammers needed Xavier and his telepathy for their continued survival, while Charles also felt he had to return to Earth to help out after the mutant massacre. Who do you abandon?

One heck of a dilemma, but in the opening pages of # 51, it seemed like Illyana was about to make that decision for him...

"Get out of my head and leave me alone... Or I'll teleport myself to Limbo. I mean it...
And leave you all behind forever!!"

Instead of leaving her be, Xavier had other plans for the obviously terrified girl, who just last issue risked her very life to teleport across time and space to reach him. If you don't want to listen to reason young lady, we'll make you...

"Karma, I'll give you entry to Illyana's mind, so you can "possess" her 

and make her unlock the door."

Apparently, in space... when diplomacy fails, mind control is the way to go. This is a complete break from how Claremont has written Xavier up to this point. The 1960s Xavier didn't even blink when he had to control crowds, erase someone's memories or worse: make Beast's parents forget they even had a child.

But under Claremont, the professor became a bastion of morality who flat out refused using his powers for manipulation, not even for a 'good cause'. Here he is seen pontificating that very point in Uncanny X-men # 151, right after Kitty Pryde's parents decided to transfer her to Emma Frost's school and Wolverine made a sensible suggestion...

"To deliberately manipulate a sentient mind would make me no better than the villains we oppose."

From your mouth to Illyana's mind, Charles... And hey, it's not like it'd be the first time Kitty's parents got zapped by a mind control whammy...

"Just doing what comes naturally."

One might argue that Charles had no choice in this instance. Maybe Illyana was, in fact, too unstable and mad with fear and grief to listen to reason... And yes, you might also say that Xavier couldn't risk having her freak out and bolt, because it would mean stranding the other New Mutants in a potentially deadly situation.

But all that still doesn't rationalise what happened once a possessed Illyana emerged from her room...

"An excellent opportunity to learn what prompted this outburst,
without having Illyana resist my probes or questions."

Now this is just wrong... Getting her to cooperate and calm down is one thing, but having Karma use her possession powers to drag a very emotional, extremely personal truth out of Illyana... right in front of Dani, Rahne and the others is a flagrant infraction of every conceivable code of ethical or moral conduct. 

"Satisfied!?! Got your lousy pound of flesh?!!"

Charles claimed he did it to figure out why Illyana was reluctant to return home, via Limbo. And the answer should be obvious: she doesn't want to return to Limbo where she left her darkside behind, the part of her soul that was corrupted by years as Belasco's apprentice. On the Starjammer, she's as close to being her normal self as she'll ever be and she didn't want to lose that.

But it's not like she'll have an actual say in the matter...

"I won't go back to Limbo... I can't... professor... Please, oh, please don't make me!"

And Charles was really hoping she would be pleasant and understanding about being forced to succumb to her (inner)demons again. Well, if she doesn't want to do things willingly, there's always Karma...

"I haven't the time or inclination to argue the matter, young lady."

With that, Xavier sent his children home, keeping them safe from the roving band of cloaked Shi'ar bounty hunters that were closing in on the Starjammer. He was the only one able to pick up their position by homing in on the crew's thoughts. If he'd left for Earth, the Starjammers would not have survived.

On paper, he made the selfless and right decision, sacrificing his own desire and chance to go home in order to keep everyone he cared for as safe as possible.

Still, that did little to improve Illyana's mood once Xi'an released her...

"You made me little better than a puppet"

In Limbo, she fell prey to the evil influences she had left there and was reunited with her soulsword... In other words, Illyana Rasputin was gone, now all that remained was Magik. And she was mad.

Just how she thinks its right to blame áll the New Mutants is a little weird, especially considering Dani stood up for her... But you don't argue logic with a hopping mad mistress of a demon realm who threatens to stab you in the heart.

"We're home, we're all okay... even Magik once she calms down... Our school's still intact. How bad could things be?"

... Famous last words, Roberto.

Professor Xavier's A-Jerkin' Your Mind part I: Leia's got nothin' on Illyana

Leaving the Bill Sienkiewicz era of New Mutants for a bit, today's entry skips ahead to the double sized fiftieth anniversary issue which reunites the New Mutants with professor Xavier.

Back in Uncanny X-men # 200, a mortally wounded Charles Xavier was teleported away by Lilandra and the Starjammers. After restoring his health, the band of space pirates ran into a bit of trouble and were unable to return him home. So Charles made the most of it, joining the Starjammers in an unofficial capacity and enjoying himself on all the different worlds they visited.

Until he picked up some very familiar brain patterns...

"Sweetling, I... and your new owner... will do with you whatever we please"

Yup... that's one heck of a way to open an anniversary issue: having a halfnaked 15 year old girl auctioned off as a slave, while she writhes and squeals in orgasmic pleasure from the 'minimal shock pulse of pleasure' she received. Classy. 

Charles and the Starjammers manage to escape with Illyana who, after recovering from her 'pleasure pulse', informs her old teacher about the situation back home. Thanks to her, Corsair received word he had become a grandfather, but that was about the only piece of good news... After all, the Marauders had just massacred the Morlocks and the New Mutants themselves had been fighting Warlock's evil dad the Magus.

Wait, let's have Illyana tell it herself...

"I figured, better death than becoming Magus's creature..."

Yes, after teleporting the techno organic Magus to Limbo, he went on to infect Illyana's demons, turning them against her. Illyana only managed to hold them off by leaving her soulsword and her dark magics behind in Limbo as a bulwark and symbol of her dominance. All she had left were her mutant teleport abilities and since Limbo reaches across all time and space, she was able to teleport to the professor.

The New Mutants had become lost in space and time when Magik teleported them around in an attempt to escape Magus. That's why Xavier's first priority was to rescue his young wards. Joined by Lilandra and Binary (Carol Danvers), Illyana and the professor travelled to Limbo where they briefly confronted S'ym before they were able to save the stranded teens.

Once the team was reunited, they popped back to the Starjammers where they learned just where Magus had gone after escaping from Limbo...

"In a moment, you will be infected with the transmode virus. 

A moment after that, you will be mine!"

Magus ripped apart the entire world to get to his son, in order to finally end the 'maguswar'. You have to wonder how why the Technarx even bother to reproduce when they know they have to kill their offspring anyway or worse: be killed by them. It's not like they need to have children, they're machines that feed on organic life to sustain themselves indefinitely. 

The New Mutants and Starjammers seemed hopelessly outmatched by the planet tearing Magus, but the professor had a plan... let's use some mind control!

"Now, Karma, share your power with mine... follow my guidance, draw on my strength...
and possess Magus!"

No Karma, c'est most definitely possible... But her control of the giant robot creature was shortlived... Which meant Warlock and Cypher had to work fast.

"My son has soulmerged with a bioform... but such a mad act will not save them!"

Gee, looks like gay marriage is also a bit of an issue on Technarx Prime. 

In the end, Magus is defeated when Cypher manages to rewrite the creature's 'genetic' coding. He reprograms his mind and body, thereby ending the threat... for now.

"Once I broke it, I could define the very nature of his reality".

That Doug Ramsey sure is bad ass. If only he'd been a bit more bulletproof.

We'll cover the aftermath of # 50's planet crushing space opera in part II of Professor Xavier's A-Jerkin' Your Mind: Do As I Say, Not As I Do

The Maliciously Mind Controlled Mam'Selle Goes A'Maraudin'

Continuing our mind control heavy adventures in the alternate realm of X-men Forever, today's entry focuses on that time when Chris Claremont had the Marauders fight the Starjammers in Alaska.

Yeah. That actually happened. And guess what? It was a truly fun, original romp.

As part of an ongoing storyline we'll touch on at a later time, Mr. Sinister was after Cyclop's son Nate who in this reality never got infected by the techno virus, let alone got sent into the future to become Cable...

Nope, young Nathan was just a happy go lucky kid, living with his great grandparents in Alaska. As luck would have it, Nate's grandfather Corsair was also visiting his parents, along with his fellow Starjammers... So before long, it was cloned villain versus interstellar space pirate galore.

And whenever you face the Marauders, you're bound to run into their discorporeal, body jumpin' and mind controllin' leader Malice... But who's gonna tell Mam'Selle Hepzibah? Sure as heck not the cloned copy of Sabretooth who placed Malice's choker around Hepzibah's throat.

 "This is such a delicious body (...) Now let's both of us go play."

Malice proved her worth as the perfect mole, no one noticed the odd skull adorned collar around her neck, not even the X-men when they arrived to help out. Cyclops himself actually handed her a job that put Malice within arm's reach of the Marauders' goal...

"To Lockheed, something about this moment doesn't seem quite... right."

How very perceptive... Which explains this next scene.

"Lockheed was protecting me... from Hepzibah."

Unfortunately, the word of an 11 year old little girl and her mute pet dragon doesn't carry mucht weight, this isn't Game Of Thrones after all. No, it's sad to say Havok doesn't hold much stock at all in what 'Ro is yelling.

"Not anymore, pet. Time for you to die."

Fortunately, Havok's girlfriend Polaris has a far better view of the situation, not in the least because she herself was once mind controlled by Malice for an extended period of time. 

Remembering the atrocities she was forced to commit while under Malice's control, Lorna showed no mercy.

"Don't touch it, or she could grab control of you."

And that seemed to spell the end for Malice, if not for this rather unexpected move by Mystique, who had actually joined the X-men in those days so she could be closer to her children Nightcrawler and Rogue. But that didn't mean she'd become an actual good guy...

"This should be delightful fun to play with."

I bet it would, Mystie... But we'll probably never know what happened, because this thread shared the same fate as most of Claremont's X-men Forever storylines: the book was cancelled well before any of them could reach a satisfying conclusion. So, as far as the Malice medallion stuck in Mystique's boot is concerned... she's still down there.

Let's just hope Malice has no sense of smell. 

"Brood her? I hardly know her!"

As if it wasn't too obvious by now... Chris Claremont sure loves mind control. Take Uncanny X-men # 155 for instance, in which the team has to face Deathbird, an old Ms. Marvel villain who turns out to be princess Lilandra's sister.

Kidnapping both Lilandra and professor Xavier, she almost got Earth destroyed by the Shi'ar imperial fleet. But despite all these grand schemes, she was also ready for some one on one action. For instance, in the panel above where one of Deathbird's henchmen fires on Storm and Corsair.

Apparently, it was some form of mind altering beam, which caused them to hallucinate and attack their friends. Same old, same old, you might say... Yes. But the tentacle pulling the trigger actually belonged to a member of the Brood species. Artist Dave Cockrum originally designed it as a one off character, but both he and Claremont agreed that the creature's look merited further stories... So,  a few issues later (Uncanny X-men # 162) we are treated to this delicious scene...



Gotta love that Dave Cockrum artwork.

Fleshing out their backstory, Claremont reveals the Brood are parasitic race of insectoids that infect other species with their offspring. The Brood eggs slowly mature in the host's body and once they hatch, they literally transform the body and mind of their victims.

The Brood are led by a gigantic queen who showed up shortly after the X-men's fight with Deathbird. The team was mind controlled by the queen, thinking they were at a fancy Shi'ar banquet in their honour when in fact, the queen was planting her royal embryos in each and every one of them.


But the Brood queen hadn't taken Wolverine's mutant healing factor into account. His immune system saw the Brood egg as an infection and proceeded to deal with it accordingly, very nearly killing Wolverine in the process.




Naturally, Wolverine survived.

Learning of his fate from a Brood he ambushed, Wolverine rejoined the X-men but couldn't bring himself to tell them they were carrying young Brood queens. Through various rather well plotted means, the other X-men (and Lilandra!) eventually did find out and in the end managed to beat the embryos.

And that, as they say, is that... Well, no... There's just one little snag. The Brood queen boasted that the X-men had already lost, despite the fact they just beat her on the Brood homeworld of Madrizar. Y'see, there was one egg left. Guess who got it...






You guessed it! None other than the X-men's leader had become infected by the Brood. Racing back to Earth, the X-men tried to save their leader but to no avail. Charles Xavier turned and in his place, a young Brood queen arose.

After a fierce battle, Xavier briefly managed to regain control of his mind, begging his students to kill him. Luckily, thanks to the advanced Shi'ar medical knowledge no one had to off the prof. Using some skincells, the Starjammer's doctor Sikorski cloned a new body and managed to remove Xavier's mind from the Brood creature.

Incidentally, the Brood embryo had been infuencing Charles' decisions for quite a while. Long before he turned, Xavier was doing the Brood's bidding. For instance, by gathering a new group of young mutants around him. Officially, he merely wanted to help them learn to control their powers... unoffically, the Brood wanted to infect these New Mutants as well in their first steps to conquer Earth




In New Mutants # 3, semi-psychic mutant Danni Moonstar finally discovers the source of the nightmares she's been having. Its the alien Brood queen, prepping her and her teammates for the big change. The Queen would have succeeded too, if not for the timely intervention of the X-men, the Starjammers and Binary.

With all the Brood eggs destroyed, Earth seemed safe... But heck, you just can't keep a good space parasite down. A few years later, a band of Brood crashlanded their space shark (don't ask) on Earth and the game was on again.

Their game plan hadn't really changed: conquer Earth, but this time around the Brood only infected mutants so they could create a formidable fighting force of super powered Broodlings. Naturally, once the X-men got wind of the Brood's presence, they came a-running to do some emergency extermination.

That didn't go exactly as planned... The Brood had infected a mutant called Temptress, who was able to use her pheromones to... wait for it... mind control people. Temptress took control of Rogue and was bringing her and the recently re-infected Wolverine to the Brood Queen when the inevitable happened back in Uncanny X-men # 234.



Sigh... You'd think the Brood would have caught on after the first time. You just don't waste a perfectly fine egg on the Wolverine...

Or, to coin one of Claremont's own pet phrases "That trick NEVER works!"