And The World Burns To White Hot Mind Control Part II: All New, All Different, Ah Heck, Not This Again

The backstory Chris Claremont came up with for Uncanny X-men's participation in 2005's Summer crossover House Of M is a little... convoluted.

Right before the Scarlet Witch's reality altering wave hit, Psylocke and Marvel Girl were somehow able to escape its effects by teleporting into the outerdimensional home of the Phoenix, the White Hot Room. Meanwhile, the creation of the 'House of M' as the new reality got to be called caused severe ripples in the Omniverse, resulting in a transdimensional tsunami that threated to tear all of reality asunder.

Omniversal guardians Roma and Opal Luna Saturnyne sent Captain Britain and Meggan to Earth to deal with whatever was causing these problems. If they failed in their mission, Roma would wipe the reality from existence after two days.

Unfortunately, the second Cap and Meggan entered the House of M, they were immediately incorporated into the fabric of the newly structured world and forgot all about their mission... Heck, they were too busy being the king and queen of England. And that's when Phoenix and Psylocke arrive, only to fall prey to this reality wide form of mind control as well.

So, are we up to speed? Good. Let's deal with the question how Betsy and Rachel were even able to enter the White Hot Room... neither of them are pandimensional teleporters, after all.

"That's enough downtime, sweeties. No more revelations. Back to the salt mines."

The man in the loin cloth is Jamie Braddock, the reality warping older brother of Betsy and Brian. He had saved Rachel and his sister from the initial effects of the House of M, for reasons entirely his own. Being a reality mucker, he undoubtedly would have been able to return them with their memories of the real world intact, but they fell prey to the mind control as well.

Reuniting with king Brian and queen Meggan, the two X-(wo)men enjoy a proper breakfast when Captain Britain reveals he's been having certain... odd feelings. Like the life he's been leading is fake, or something. But being a king, I'm pretty sure he'll handle this with proper decorum.

"You're not Courtney Ross! She's Opal-Lun Sat-Yr... Opposed tyrant of Earth 839!"

Well, no, not exactly... this is actually the real Courtney Ross, well, from this Earth at least. Several of her alternate reality counterparts have become variations of Opal Luna Saturnyne, the omniversal guardian who's threatened to destroy our reality in order to save the omniverse. That's why Brian calls her a murderer... but the Scarlet Witch's mind control spell doesn't allow him to put two and two together just yet.

After calming down a little, courtesy of a little telepathy and psychic katana action, king Brian commences his daily duties, starting with the morning briefing...

"Flash analysis suggests that one of the may be genetically related to lord Magneto."

Intrigued by the notion that Magneto or one of his children might be up to something in his backyard, Brian quickly forgets his confusion and suits up... ready to check this report out. Rachel and Betsy join him in his investigation and it doesn't take long for them to run into this reality's version of the Marauders.

Callisto and her team are ordered to apprehend the two superhumans Brian and company came here to find. One of them is the Juggernaut, who is by no means related to Magneto and his brood... So who is this mystery mutant? Not who you'd expect... 

"Betsy, she looks... Nothing like Magneto."

How very observant, ladies. Meet Talia Josephine Wagner, aka Nocturne and yes, she really is a Magneto's granddaughter... Albeit from Earth-2182. On this world, the Scarlet Witch (her again) fell in love with Nightcrawler and started a family together. Nocture had been a key player and founding member of Exiles, before getting herself exiled in the 616 right when the House of M hit.

Ow, you wonder what her powers are? Well, there's a reason Chris Claremont took a liking to her, see if you can guess why...

"She's trying to possess you!"

She failed to possess Psylocke, but just as the Marauders were closing in on the three of them, Rachel decided getting herself (mind)controlled might just be their ticket out of there.

"You want to possess someone, Nocturne... Try me."

Welcome to Uncanny X-men # 464, by the way... the reason for the sudden artistic shift is rather simple: Chris Bachalo had replaced Alan Davis as regular penciller which really altered the feel of the story, but, thankfully, not the amount of mind control... heavens to murgatroyd. 

Nocturne took over Rachel and used her telekinetic powers to fly to safety at incredible speed. Psylocke followed the duo using her own telekinesis and once she caught up with them, Betsy realised there was something wrong...

"I'll fight if I have to. And I'll WIN!"

So fight they did, after all this is a superhero comic which means the good guys will duke it out amongst themselves to kill some time and pages... In the end, you can guess what happened.

"For the moment, she's better off where she is"

Rachel really is very kind... Not only allowing herself to get taken over by a complete stranger, but generously sharing her body with Nocturne. The three of them plan to rejoin Captain Britain and Meggan, but they are suddenly caught in one of Jamie Braddock's reality warps...

As best he can, the maddened reality twister tells them what they need to know about the House of M and Roma's deadline, before spitting them back...

"I'm fine, it's the universe that's sick"

Describing a quantum tear in the fabric of creation as 'the universe is sick' is a bit of a stretch. But what the hey... that "EeEeEeE" is the sound of the Banshee's wail, knocking out Rachel and Psylocke. And while Nocturne escapes from Rachel's body, Psylocke has another vision of sorts of the Omega Sentinel attacking Brian and Meggan because they opposed lord Magneto... Which leads to the end game in Uncanny X-men # 465 in which quite a bit happens...

Psylocke and company are fighting the Marauders some more... With Nocturne possessing Banshee to take out several of their number before forcing Sean Cassidy to knock himself unconscious. Ahh, mind control.

While back at Braddock Manor, Karima Shapandar and her Sentinels get overrun by members of the Captain Britain corps who had been working as members of the royal court who suddenly, for no discernable reason, remember who they are...

While Psylocke and company are fighting the Marauders some more... With Nocturne possessing Banshee to take out several of their number before forcing Sean Cassidy to knock himself unconscious. Ahh, mind control.

And then, that pesky little tear in the fabric of reality reared its ugly head again...

"I'm guessin', it's a hole. Gotta be plugged?"

'A' for effort there, Juggernaut... But in spite of his massive girth, stuffing the Blob into the rip didn't exactly fill 'er up... And Roma is getting ready to annihilate everyone and everything. Which doesn't mean there can't still be a bit of mind control before the end... Not including the many, many times Meggan has been brutally taken over in order for either Roma or Jamie Braddock to deliver some kind of dire message.

Speaking of Meggan, she's the key to solving this. That and a little mind control.

"My possessing you didn't work before..."

 "We use our strengths to close the seams of the tear... so Rachel can seal them."

In case anyone was wondering... No, there is no explanation for the fact that a) Nocture takes over Psylocke or b) Meggan is sacrificing herself, not to mention c) why that whole song and dance was even necessary, considering anyone can grab this supposedly metaphysical rip and yank the edges together so it can be stuffed like an old sock. 

During the closing moments of the issue, Captain Britain is allowed to honor his wife's sacrifice... A heartfelt moment to be sure, but continuitywise this took place during House of M... And that crossover not only ended with the Scarlet Witch wishing for no more mutants, it also restored reality to the way it was... Which meant that the entire world hit the reset button, save for those few heroes who were near Wanda when she cast her spell.

Captain Britian wasn't one of them, so he should have reverted to his pre-House of M-state of mind... Which would also mean he'd have no clue as to what just happened to Meggan.

But hey, whoever said comics about multiple time and reality warps had to make sense? 

And The World Burns To White Hot Mind Control Part I: Does Everything Revolve Around That Bloody Bird?

Sometimes, Chris Claremont doesn't come up with mind control... he just goes along with it.

Flashback to the Spring of 2005 and a little Marvel event called House of M.

The Scarlet Witch has gone quite mad, using her massive reality warping powers to, well, warp reality... reshaping anyone and anything as she saw fit. Every single affected Marvel title referred to the reality warp as 'the world burning to white', just before it got replaced with whatever new reality Wanda had dreamed up.

The X-men weren't safe either...

"Betsy, I've lost their thoughts! I can't sense anyone!"

The X-men were in Africa when Wanda's warp hit... Quickly forgetting their battle with the weaponeers of Al-Khalad, Psylocke and Phoenix combined their powers to escape the reality altering wave, instead arriving in a whole 'nother dimension...

"Oh, for goodness sakes!"

Betsy's exasparated shout isn't without merit... The Phoenix, or as she refered to it 'that bloody bird' had served as the deus ex machina to whatever the problem was. Rachel and Betsy were in the 'white hot room', a concept introduced by Grant Morrison near the end of his New X-men run... This space serves as both the afterlife and a base of operation for the Phoenix.

But Betsy has it easy, compared to her brother... Brian Braddock, better known as Captain Britain, one of the guardians of the Omniverse. Wanda's reality altering shenanigans has had a profound impact on most of the alternate realities Brian and his colleagues in the Captain Britain Corps have sworn to protect... Resulting in a trans temporal tsunami, of sorts.

What's worse, Brian's wife Meggan is severly effected by the impact of the altered realities crashing  in on her, shifting forms and identities by the second, losing her sense of self like never before.

"It is the end, my love. Of all that is! Of all that will ever be!" 

And what's worse... the Omniversal palace Brian has called home is being invaded by alternate reality villain, such as an all new, all different... all male team of female X-men. 'Butch' gets a new definition when you check out this group...

"THIS is what my sister looks like as a man?"

Got it in one, erm... Psy-bloke?

Now, quickly, use your mind control powers to enslave your foe...

It's nice to see the universe still has a few constants... Doesn't matter whether they're  transdimensional or transsexual, siblings are immune to one another's powers. Which means Brian is free to defeat these X-(wo)men in time to hear his boss Roma describe what's been going wrong.

Roma knows how bad the Scarlet Witch's meddling with the 616 (Marvel) reality is... Wanda has messed with the fabric of space/time and all those other rather fundamental building blocks of reality, causing a domino type of effect that will eventually cause the destruction of any reality everywhere. It's kind of a big thing.

Normally, Roma and her associate the Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne would have simply used their advanced reality control devices to erase the aberrant reality from existence.

But during the chaos Brian and Betsy's reality altering older brother Jamie Braddock appeared to conveniently drop a rock on the delicate mechanism, smashing it thoroughly and buying Earth some extra time in the process.

Left without any other sensible plan of action, Roma and Saturnyne order Brian and Meggan to go to Earth and right whatever has gone wrong. Unfortunately, Meggan has trouble enough righting whatever's gone wrong with her...

"Look at your wife... Brian. That's but a taste of our collective future if we don't prevail"

And speaking of female heroines being confronted with images of all they could have been... 

"For every alternate Earth, an alternate Betsy Braddock."

Before you know it, for every alternate Betsy Braddock, there'd be one Slaymaster to kill them all. 

But just as Captain Britain and Meggan were starting their mission in the Scarlet Witch altered 616, Jamie Braddock dropped by the White Hot Room to pick up his sister and Rachel, sending them back to Earth as well.

Where they fell prey to the same Wanda approved, mind control-like reality warp everyone else had...

More on the adventures of the mind controlled duo in part deux of And The World Burns To White Hot Mind Control Part II: All New, All Different, Ah Heck, Not This Again

Abdicating All Control Of Your Mind Part II: "Heavy Is The Mind Controlled Head That Wears The Crown...

In the second and final part of this mind control heavy tribute to Dutch queen Beatrix abdicating the throne, we'll get to the actual mind control as Kitty 'Kate' Pryde receives a marriage proposal from the British crown prince William... No, this isn't an example of bad 2011 fan fiction, its Chris Claremont writing Excalibur, apparently with a crystal ball, in 1989...

In order to marry Kitty, William had to sorely disappoint the lady Kate, who had previously been promised to him. The fact Kate and Kitty are actually alternate counterparts is an interesting one. William fell for Kitty's adventurous spirit, which left Kate severly annoyed. But first, she had to deal with her soon to be inlaws... the queen (who doesn't look like the late Diana at allll...)

And more notably, queen mother of England...

Upon meeting Kitty, the Queen Mom soon realises that the young American girl is in no way suited for her future role as ruler of all Britons. Also... Megan and Rachel are causing quite the stir as well.

"Rest assured, Katherine Pryde... We shall endeavor to teach you better!"

Using her magics to teleport them away, the Queen Mom takes Kitty to a band of technomages who analyse her rather unique genetic structure. She's similar to princess Kate in virtually every conceivable way... And yet she's not.

Yup... here we have the Queen Mom and several top notch mages using magicks to warp Shadowcat's very essence, molding her soul, into their prefered shape. Magic words or not, it's still mind control. But Kitty proves she's defiant to the very last...

During those final moments as her own self, a desperate Kitty succeeded in contacting her teammate Rachel, who is able to track her location following the trail of the psychic transmission. However, by the time Excalibur arrives to rescue her, the damage to Kitty already seems to be done...

In an interesting turn of events, Rachel can't detect any signs of mind control or even the slightest mental tampering. Baffled, Excalibur is soon forced to make peace with the situation and is ready to bid Kitty adieu when she is attacked by the same kind of Shaitan-esque demons that kidnapped her back in part I. 

Yes, turns out Lady Katherine Pryde was content having prince William chase after her, especially since it was pretty much a given he'd propose to her eventually. But all bets were off  with the arrival of Excalibur and her alternate reality counterpart. And to add insult to injury: William proposed to the wrong Pryde to boot.

Katherine relied on her magic powers to control a small army of monsters to kill Kitty but she hadn't counted on the fact Kitty was pretty much invulnerable after her phased state had become her normal way of being. Phasing also interfered with the Queen Mom's transformation spell, so Shadowcat was back in the game and soon came up with an ideal way to resolve this particular predicament...

And with that, the prince of the realm still willi(am)ngly ends up with his Katherine, despite the Harry-ing conditions...So much for clever puns, time to follow Excalibur's lead and get out while we're ahead.

Until next time!

... This blog entry is respectfully dedicated to princess Beatrix of the Netherlands, always a queen in my book...

Don't mind (control) me, I'm crazy!

The fourth issue of Excalibur starts out in the offices of influental London banker Courtney Ross. She is quietly lamenting her relationship with Captain Britain that went sour after Brian Braddock mysteriously disappeared. Thinking him dead, she moved on with her life, but when Brian returned to the superhero scene, she found herself to be a target yet again...

Meet the Crazy Gang, an Alice in Wonderland inspired band of villains that are as inept as they are colorful. It didn't take Courteney much effort at all to escape from their clutches. Fleeing from the bank, she thinks she's safe when a police car happens to pass by. 

Alas, the car is driven by the real villain of the piece, Arcade. Using Arcade for this story actually makes sense, not only is he a well established X-men villain but he's also part of Captain Britain's rogues' gallery. By kidnapping Courteney, Arcade hoped to lure Captain Britain to his Murderworld for a rematch. Unfortunately, his way of luring the good Captain makes little to no sense.

Rachel and Kitty were enjoying a day off, living out the tired cliche of what all young women love to do: go shopping. But, at the cash register they noticed their paper pounds didn't have the actual queen on 'em but the Crazy Gang's Red Queen.

Now, from this they derived it was Arcade who was up to no good. A bit of a stretch, considering both Rachel and Kitty had never fought the Crazy Gang, nor did they have any knowledge about the Crazy Gang's recent alliance with Arcade. But hey, whatever gets you the furthest in those 22 pages a month, eh?

Meanwhile in a subplot that has nothing to do with mind control, but is still an interesting side note... Doctor Moira MacTaggert is travelling with her bodyguard Callisto to meet with Excalibur. Moira's found some anomalies in one of the team members' DNA which she wants to sort out. Nothing ever came of this, and not just because Moira, Callisto and the entire train were teleported off the face of the Earth.


If Claremont had gotten his way, it would have been revealed that the anomalous DNA readings meant Rachel didn't have a biological father. She would have been a Christ like figure, her mother Jean impregnated by the Phoenix Force acting like the biblical Holy Spirit. Sounds interesting, but still uncomfortably close to religious blasphemy for the PC 80s.


Getting back to the story at hand, it didn't take Excalibur very long to trace Arcade, the Crazy Gang and Courtney to an old, abandoned amusement park. But the fight didn't go exactly as planned, mostly because Captain Britain hadn't really figured out how to be a team player at that point.

Using an advanced piece of technology of his own design, the idiot savant Crazy Gang member Tweedledope switched his mind with Captain Britain's, causing some confusion. Which only got worse when he used a similar device on most of the other Excalibur members.

After Nightcrawler and Meggan got themselves swapped with the Crazy Gang's Jester and Knave, only Phoenix and Shadowcat were left in their proper minds and Captain "Tweedledope" Britain was hard at work to remedy that.

Admittely, as impressive as this looks, Phoenix is actually more affected by the psychic summons she receives from her baby brother Nathan Summers, covered in THIS entry. But that didn't mean Tweedledope's switcheroo tech didn't do the trick.

Never one to miss out on a brutal slaughter with zero odds of surviving, Arcade had Courtney Ross dressed up as the actual Alice in Wonderland, and the mind controlled Rachel was ever ready to obey the Red Queen's command to decapitate her. 

Yup... that's Tweedledope in the body of Captain Britain, biting the hiney of the actual Captain. Sure, why not. But, enough levity... Take us home, Shadowcat!   

"Was afraid of this. She didn't body-switch with the Executioner, she was possessed by him! To exorcise his influence... I'll have to slip completely inside her body... and open my mind totally to Ray's telepathic power... Gambling that the image of herself she sees through my thoughts...Will be enough to break her free..."

...Geez, and they still wonder why narrative thought bubbles are dead and gone. 

Still, Kitty saved Excalibur and Courtney and so far 4 of the published 5 issues of Excalibur relied heavily one one form of mind control or another. Wonder what issues 6 and 7 bring...

Oh. Right. 

Well, stick to what you know, I guess.

Excalinferno Part II: Go Go Goblin Princess!

It took the rest of Excalibur the better part of a day to reach New York, but it only took a few minutes for Meggan to lose control of her mind. Y'see, Meggan's a magical faerie creature capable of transforming herself to please whatever prevalent mood or mindset she finds herself in. She has no real control over this power, so guess what happens to her when she's hovering over a demon infested city of millions that reeks of evil? 

Yeah... You guessed it.

Quickly forgetting she ever was a good guy to start with, Meggan dumped Nightcrawler and sought out the leader of the demon horde N'astirh... who was ever so pleased with his new follower.

Just take a minute to really read the dialogue. It just oozes pure S&M roleplay. "This will hurt", the master warns his slave... "I don't mind", she answers to her master's pleasure. "Even better." Remember how Marvel used to market this as an all ages fun and games book? ... Sigh.

Thus was born... the Goblin Princess. Not quite as evil as the Jean Grey clone turned sour Madelyne Pryor, but still pretty nasty as she soon proved while tormenting her teammates.

Now, precious... I have you forever!"

The Goblin Princess is basically still Meggan, with all her insecurities about herself and her relationship with Captain Britain intact. So it makes sense she would focus her newfound might on him first, by mind controlling him.Shadowcat phases inside the movie theatre and quickly realises she might be in wayyy over her head.

Yup, that's Captain Britain as the Goblin Princess' champion, a warped amalgam of 80s movie icons  like Rambo (the guns & headband), Freddie Krueger (the fingerclaws) and an axe from any generic horror slasher, but lets say The Shining.

Yes, yes, we're still reading Excalibur: the all ages fun book. Try and explain that to your children when they come crawling into bed with you, crying about nightmares after reading this issue.
Also: nice slice of strawberry cheesecake there, Kitty...


Meanwhile, Nightcrawler found himself under attack by the weirdness of Inferno, which caused inanimate objects to come to life and attack the living. In this case, all the mannequins in a department store who attacked the living in a zombie like frenzy. Nightcrawler coulda sworn he saw Rachel in a wedding dress in the store window, but look who is assaulting him...

Using his teleportation powers, Nightcrawler freed the Phoenix-like mannequin from the horde of dolls, ready to unite the doll with the real Rachel. But Kurt'd better hurry up, because the demonic priest who was ready to marry Rachel with the demon Crotus is about ready to join them together in whatever passes for holy matrimony...

Still, Kurt wasn't the only member of Excalibur who was having troubling cutting through the Inferno madness. Luckily, Kitty found herself with a sword. Thanks to her close friendship with Limbo's former ruler Illyana Rasputin, Kitty manifested the Magik armour ánd the enchantment ending soulsword. One swipe of that blade can end any and all magic spells. Alas, sometimes the sword is nowhere near as quick as the spoken word...

Ahh, talk about an almost perfect case of mind control... The Goblin Princess suffers from an ever so convenient spell of weakness while transforming Kitty into an actual Shadowcat, giving her enough time to use her soulsword fascimile...

One slice of the sword reverted the Captain back to his old self, and another hurl of her blade did the same for Meggan...

With Meggan reverting back to her old self, all that's left is getting Rachel back from her marriage to the demon Crotus. Take it home, Nightcrawler...

Having Kurt throw the evil book on the equally evil fire somehow caused Meggan to revert back to her old self. With all of Excalibur free from mind control, issue # 7 had a happy ending. But, wait... weren't they supposed to rescue baby Nathan? Wasn't that why they travelled all the way from Great Britain to New York? 


Nope, unfortunately, Excalibur played no part in the final episode of Inferno. That was all up to the X-men and X-Factor. Fortunately, Claremont wrote this little scene in issue # 8, as a coda of sorts...

Yep, and that's all the influence Excalibur had on the Inferno... The only member who didn't end up mind controlled was Nightcrawler, who was already a demon to begin with. Great start for the new team, people!