Pretty's Perfunctory Persuasions

Meet Pretty Boy... a likeable, if not handsome guy. Why is that lady running away from him? Well, here goes... a post on Pretty Boy, maybe the ultimate of mind control goons, a cyborg capable of controlling minds, making his victims love what he does to them and looking positively hot while raping them. He'll make you like it, cos he's just that good.

Pretty Boy was introduced in Uncanny X-men # 228, as a member of the Reavers, a band of marauding cyborg thugs who used the mutant known only as Gateway to teleport them from their base in the Australian desert to wherever they had planned their next heist. And they weren't exactly subtle about it either...

But while most of his fellow Reavers were little more than cybernetically augmented humans with big guns, Pretty Boy possessed a few additional powers.

His foremost ability was to rewrite people's brains using filaments that shot forth from his eyes. He first used this power when he kidnapped banker Jessan Hoan, a gifted financial expert. The Reavers needed someone like her to make sure all the loot they recovered from their raids was put to good use. Jessan wasn't too eager to assist them, but that didn't stop Pretty Boy.

"No muss, no fuss, presto changeo... a whole new you! Isn't that nice?"

Marc Silvestri's art answers that question, Jessan is enjoying the sensation of being violated and reshaped into the person her assailant wants her to be. And Pretty Boy would have gotten away with it too, if not for the X-men who happened to pick this moment to attack the Reavers in their desert town.

Longshot's throwing knives cut off Pretty Boy's mind control tendrils (or, his eyes) causing him to be pretty miffed at the two X-men. He even tried to recruit Dazzler into the Reavers using the same trick, but her eyes proved to be just as dangerous...

"And once these fiber-optic filaments... burrow into your brain... you won't want to fight me anymore. You'll be a Reaver, body and soul!"

Ahhhh, yeah, that's the good stuff right there... Already claiming people body and soul in his first appearance... Lemme tell you, that Pretty Boy is going places!

As it turns out, the place he was going first was Gateway's teleporation gate. The X-men defeated the Reavers and took over their desert base, but Pretty Boy, Skullbuster and Bonebreaker managed to escape. They hooked up with Donald Pierce, former Hellfire Club member and cyborg in his own right to form a new incarnation of the Reavers.

They were later joined by Lady Deathstrike and Cole, Reese and Macon, three former Hellfire Club soldiers who were cybernetically enhanced as well. These Reavers managed to drive the X-men out, relishing in their victory and destroying the team's personal belongings out of pure spite. Here's Pretty Boy hacking away at stuff in Wolverine's quarters...

In a nice bit of characterisation, Claremont has Lady Deathstrike step in to prevent Pretty Boy from further defiling the blade of the Yashida family. Sure, she may be criminally insane and obsessed with killing Wolverine, but Yuriko still knows more about honouring and respecting a great house like the Yashida's than a hick like Pretty Boy ever could. Not that it stopped him from trying to get what he wanted, the only way he knew how...

Pretty Boy's fortright, even arrogant demeanor cost him dearly. Pierce got fed up with his constant lip and after Pretty was damaged during a confrontation with Wolverine and Jubilee, the Donald decided to play a cruel trick when he rebuilt his frame.

Still, his mostly robotic body didn't make him any less of a threat, quite the opposite. A fact Polaris discovered when the Reavers attacked Muir Island in Uncanny X-men # 255.

This time, it was the Banshee's wail that cut Pretty Boy's fiber optic mind control filaments. Pretty Boy didn't get to control any more people during Claremont's initial run on the X-books. And soon after Chris left, he was presumed to have died along with most of the Reavers during a Sentinel attack by future villain Trevor Fitzroy.

Luckily, you can't keep a good cyborg down... So by the time X-treme X-men Annual 2001 came along, Chris Claremont was back and so was Pretty Boy. As usual, both were up to no good...

Ahh, just look at those sensual, seductive and even downright pornorific poses Pretty Boy and his victim Sage are in. He is all ready to use his powers to scramble her computerlike brain and turn the X-men's mentat against them. And with no one to interrupt the process, how'd it turn out?

"I take it then, Pretty Boy's new program didn't take?"

Sage's computer mind proved to be the stronger mental CPU, easily overriding Pretty Boy's cybernetic commands and even using them to take control of him to boot. Considering that annual is the last time Chris Claremont ever wrote the character, one can only applaud the irony of Pretty Boy's story arc.

For close to 15 years, every single attempt to mind control people gets thwarted... And the minute he does succeed and has his (s)way, it backfires... Because he's actually the weaker party in the mind control.

Such delicious irony. One might even say pretty... boy.

Logan, Love, Marriage & Mind Control...

In early 1998, Marvel's then editor in chief Bob Harrass approached Chris Claremont with the request to write a story arc on Wolverine, the series he helped launch in the 1987. The timing couldn't be better, considering Claremont's debut would start with the big anniversary issue # 125.

Most fans figured Claremont would use the opportunity to restore Wolverine's status quo, maybe even restore the adamantium that was ripped out by Magneto at the end of 1993's Fatal Attractions crossover. To his credit, Chris intentionally did the unexpected, unfortunately his three issue storyline was, well, haphazard at best. The anniversary issue starts out with Jubilee running from some bad guys in a scene that mirrors Kitty Pryde's escape from the Hellfire Club in Uncanny X-men # 129.

Jubes was rescued from that particular horror by, well, just guess...

Yup, that's Shadowcat and Lockheed... Looking ever so spiffy in green. But what's caused her sudden change in appearance? And for that matter, why was Jubilee being chased by those Hellfire Club goons, who by the way looked like X-women in outfits similar to Kitty's?

Bless Claremont's gift for exposition. The rather psychotic terrorist Viper, also fond of dressing in green leather, is revealed to be the big bad. Desperately trying to get at Wolverine, Viper used a special mind control poison (because that's what poisons do apparently) to recruit some of Wolverine's closest female friends and associates. Viper had managed to claim Psylocke, Rogue, Tyger Tiger, Jean Grey, Kitty Pryde and Yukio. Jubilee was about to join their ranks, if Kitty hadn't broken free from Viper's conditioning to save her.

Five of their colleagues however, weren't quite so lucky... And neither was Wolverine once the green squad tracked him down.

So why was Viper after Wolverine in the first place? Well, he once sorta promised Viper his hand in marriage in return for her aid. Its rather reassuring to know the lady might be a psychotic, mass murdering maniac, but she sure ain't forgetful!

Wolverine reluctantly obeyed his sense of honor and agreed to marry Viper, but their wedded bliss was cut short by Sabretooth who showed up to kill Logan's better half.

In a nice tip of the hat to a Wolvie wedding that that never was, Claremont has Sabretooth swear he'd kill any mate 'the runt' would ever take. Back in the early 80s, Claremont and Byrne had planned to have Wolverine and his lady love Mariko Yashida tie the knot... Only to have Sabretooth appear as the villain who ripped her apart.

And by 1998, the crazed mutant was about to fulfill his destiny after all. Yet, as the end of the second issue fast approached, even Victor Creed proved to be a mere accomplice to the real bad guy because well... Hey, why *DID* we shovel out that extra dough for gatefold covers that tell everyone what they need to know?

Yep, in the third and final chapter everyone got kidnapped and mind controlled by the Hand, leading to delicious scenes like these...

All the pain they caused Wolverine and Kitty had a remarkable effect on the erstwhile Shadowcat as she appeared like a latter day Psylocke...

But the Hand wasn't just planning on mind controlling Viper. They had a few more of those sensory depravation tanks lying around so why not stick a few more of Wolverine's women in there. In skintight outfits of course, mind control or not, there's always room for some eye candy.

In the end, all the heroes broke free to fight another day and Claremont bowed out after this three issue stint... While leaving the Wolverine/Viper marriage stand and revealing the Hand had reinforced Sabretooth's claws and skeleton with adamantium, making him a truly tough foe.

Alas, these story elements were quickly reversed by future writers who had the happy couple break up because, well, one's a sociopath with odd hair, a bad temper and connections to terrorist groups bent on imposing their views on a world that hates and fears them... and the other is Viper.*


* With sincerest apologies to Craig Ferguson

Karma Karma Karma Mindcontrol-eon... You Come And Gooooo

Oy, we're doing one of these again? Fine...

After Wolverine, excuse me, Patch's initial outing in Madripoor, the local crime lords were getting restless. Madripoor is ruled by a corrupt government, so no one was too surprised when the viceroy turned up dead. But the way he died was somewhat curious, so Patch got on the case.

Turns out the viceroy was killed by the mercenary duo known as Roughouse and Bloodscream, two thugs hired by former Vietnamese general turned crimelord N'guyen Ngoc. Discovering just who he was up against, Patch went on a mission to find some allies.

Yeah, turns out the crimelord is actually also the uncle of former New Mutant Xi'an Coy Manh, better known as Karma. So, what would drive a nice person like Xi'an to ever work for a bad guy like uncle N'guyen Ngoc? 

Someone had kidnapped her younger siblings back during Claremont's run on New Mutants. Even professor Xavier was unable to find her brother and sister, so a despondent Karma turned to uncle Ngoc for help. The deal she made, forced her to come to Madripoor where she proved herself a hero once again, interfering several times on Wolverine's behalf against her uncle's employees Roughouse and Bloodscream.

"Karma again, bless her, has to be!"

Still, that was hardly the only time Karma used her powers to help the story along...

Heck, even Karma complains about her loss of ideals in these telling scenes from Wolverine # 3.

But Karma's betrayal was about to come with a price, as her uncle sent Roughouse to show her the repercussions of not obeying a man...

Forget the mind control for a second... This panel is far more interesting in retrospect...

"All you need to make your life complete... is a man."

Ignoring the obvious, sexist undertones here... What really makes this gawdawful to watch in retrospect is the realisation Karma is actually gay. To have a male character assure a lesbian that a man will make her life complete is beyond offensive. But, in all fairness, its doubtful that at the time Claremont even knew about Karma's sexuality when he wrote these scenes. And if anything, he was aware of what he was doing when he wrote Karma's coming out in the Mechanix limited series back in 03.

So, how did this caper end? Well, there was the usual boom-boom and the unavoidable shock and awe. Roughouse and Bloodscream got theirs, while Wolverine... excuse me, Patch... and Karma escaped with their hides firmly intact.

And no one even stopped to think that Patch fellow looked awfully familiar. ....*sigh*....