Four Fantastic Mind Control Without Emotions

The previous two entries featured some of Chris Claremont's earliest writings from the 1970s.

It was a different time for all of us. Heck, most of us weren't even born when neophyte writer Chris Claremont was making a name for himself. He had a lot to learn back then. His storytelling was still a little clunky, his scripting might be a tad too wordy and sometimes the plots were a bit hard to follow. But the man showed promise.

So, let's do the time warp again to see how and if 30+ years of experience had paid off...

Opening with the death of an entire universe?

*sigh* so much for mastering the art of 'less is more'.

Welcome to the latter half of Claremont's all too brief Exiles run. During their first mission under new management, the Exiles failed in their mission to contain an alternate reality Madame Hydra (Sue Storm) and her cronies to the Earth they had ravaged. Instead, the trio escaped into the omniverse, but not before setting off an explosion that seemingly destroyed that entire reality.

Back at Exiles' headquarters Heather Hudson was forced to watch her comrades perish. Severly depressed, Heather went on a prolonged drinking binge, before finally deciding to leave the Panoptichron, aka the Crystal Palace, altogether.

Before departing to her home dimension, she did however program a digitalised, interactive version of herself should any possible future visitors to the Panoptichron need aid. The minute she left, the Palace's lights went out.

As enticing a dramatic turn this might be for Heather, it all felt a bit futile... Because the readers already knew the Exiles were alive and well. It took the better part of Exiles # 95 to clear all of this up, but the team finally visited Heather's reality where she had reunited with her husband and was an expecting mother. Overjoyed, the team allowed Heather her happy ending as they got ready for their next mission...

Without Heather, the Exiles needed someone to hold down the fort. Their most recent member Psylocke volunteered for the job, waving goodbye to the others who were off to visit a world that was ruled by the Fantastic Four, or a rather interesting take on them: Meet the Four Fantastics and yes, that is Doctor Doom leading them.

Over the next several issues a lot happened. For one thing, with an alternate reality Fantastic Four ruling the Earth... who else could oppose them but Reed Richards as... The Mole Man? And the fun doesn't end there. Or, actually it does... because Doom had unleashed something in the air that did a real number on the minds of every single person on the planet, as Longshot learned.

Yup, leave it to Victor von Doom to come up with a way to safeguard humanity... by taking away all that makes mankind unique. Von Doom's pathogen had effectively erased all inclination to having fun or laughing from mankind's genetic make up.

Meanwhile back in the Crystal Palace, Psylocke's monitoring duties get a whole lot more interesting when a young visitor pops in out of the proverbial blue...

If it looks like a Kitty Pryde, sounds like a Kitty Pryde and phases through solid matter like a Kitty Pryde... it must be a Kitty Pryde. Actually, Psylocke witnessed the arrival of Cat, who would go on to be the Exiles' most enigmatic member.

But first there was a new threat to deal with: Victor von Doom had managed to home in on the Exiles' Tallus energies. Copying them, the FF leader was able to send an armed contingent to the Panoptichron so they could claim its technologies for the greater glory of Doom.

Initially succesfull, Von Doom's forces capture both Psylocke and Cat and, to kill a little time, decide to have a little mind control fun while they're at it.

Now, it makes sense for a team of marines going into combat to have a physician in their ranks. But why would any doctor go into battle wearing his surgeon's scrubs and a face mask? So much for camouflage. 

Unfortunately, it's hard to stab someone with a needle if that person is intangible. Poor guy, all dressed up for the part and nowhere to go. Meanwhile, Von Doom was facing his nemesis Reed 'Mole Man' Richards in a final confrontation...

Forget the weird glasses and the Mole Man's hood, this Reed Richards truly is a poet.

A poet with a bit of a mean streak, as it turns out. When his words failed to sway Doom, Reed Richards took that ol' New Hampshire state motto 'live free or die' a little too literally by blowing up the planet.  

How's that for ending a four issue arc filled with characterization and moral dilemmas? 

Excuse that excellent Exiles mind control

And then there came a time... a time most fans of Exiles feared... the moment Chris Claremont took over.

As any writer is wont to do, he wasted no time making the book his own. His first act was returning recently introduced member Power Princess to the Squadron Supreme of her own dimension.

Then he made a point of subtly redefining the Exiles' mission statement. The team no longer observed and protected the multiverse... no, they were responsible for Claremont coined 'crosstime' and 'omniverse'.

Arguably a change in name only, but it did allow Claremont to link the Exiles to his other Omniverse related creations like Merlin, Mad Jim Jaspers, the Fury and last but not least omniversal guardian Roma and her Captain Britain corps. Speaking of Captain Britain, lets see who will be replacing the Princess...

Well, at least the amount of purple in the team's uniforms remained roughly the same.

Meet Psylocke, fresh from 'our' 616 reality. Not only is Betsy Braddock one of the all time Claremont faves, she also happens to be the sister of Captain Britain and even a one time replacement Captain Britain herself so it's another tie to previously established continuity right there. This set things up nicely for a team up with the Excalibur series Claremont was also writing at the time. But that's a story for another time.

So why was Psylocke summoned anyways? Yes, Sabretooth claimed the team would miss Power Princess' super strength, but surely her brawn couldn't be all that stands between victory and defeat? Well... let's just see how the team did on their first mission without Zarda.

In a move reminiscent of 1975's classic Giant Sized X-men # 1, only one member of the team made it back to get help. In this case, it was Sabretooth and not Cyclops who returned to base and together with Heather 'Sasquatch' Hudson they scanned the multiv... Sorry, Omniverse... to find just the right person to help them out. As it turns out, it was Psylocke.

Credit Claremont for hitting the ground running and using established continuity to drive the story forward, even if it didn't directly involve any of his own stories. Case in point: Psylocke's reaction when seconds after landing in the Exiles' desert room, she encounters Sabretooth.

Keep in mind that in the 616 universe, Sabretooth almost killed her twice. Once during the Claremont penned Mutant Massacre storyline and a second time when Scott Lobdell had Psylocke step in to save X-Force's Boomer. So, how would you react when you find yourself in strange surroundings with a hated enemy approaching?

Yeah, that seems about right.

After all the usual misunderstandings had been cleared up, Psylocke agreed to help the Exiles out and joined Sabretooth in the rescue mission. So, what had caused all the troubles?

Seems like the Exiles had encountered heavy opposition from the ninjas of the Hand. A nuisance to be sure, but nothing they usually can't handle. What could possibly be...

Ah, yeah... this is a Claremont comic now. So 'adventures' are known as 'capers', the multiverse is decidedly omni and mind control is for everyone. Yes... for some unexplained reason, the Exiles ran right into this trap. Even the ones usually too lucky for that.

A mind controlled Longshot... right down to the nice little touch of altering his belt buckle to the 'H' for 'Hand' or even 'Hydra', considering who's the villain of the piece...

In this reality, Susan Storm isn't known as the Invisible Woman but actually the ruthless Madame Hydra. Forget Viper, Susie is as good a sadistic baddie as one could hope for. And then you haven't even met her lover...

"You like cutting their bodies to pieces, my love. Whereas I prefer reordering their minds, James... And putting them to use."

Yeah. That's how the former Susan Storm-Richards rolls.

After turning to evil and separating from her husband Reed Richards, Sue has used mind control technology to further her goals of total world domination. But, what was the mission the Exiles had to accomplish in this reality anyway? Surely, it has to be something as straightforward as 'beat the baddies and move on", right?

Not quite.

Well, lemme save you a dry summary of all the issues through # 94...

The Exiles fail.

Reed doesn't die and Madame Hydra escapes into the Omniverse, along with her lover Wolverine and their partner the Slaymaster. The mind control she subjected Longshot, Spider-Man 2099 and Blink to eventually fades, while the desolate Earth mentioned earlier suddenly becomes a whole lot less desolate when a necklace worn by Reed's daughter Valeria Richards turns out to contain 2.5 billion people Reed wanted to save from the tyranny of his ex-wife.

So, all is right in the world.

Well, in thát world at least.

Forever young... and mind controlled!

Oy... its like a bad 1980s fantasy film. So, how did we end up in this particular pickle?

Chris Claremont must have written Uncanny X-men Annual # 10 with tongue firmly in cheek. It almost reads as a pastiche to those movies where teens and adults switch bodies like Tom Hanks in Big, Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday and most recently Zac Effron in 17 Again. But of course, this annual has that typical Claremontian twist so there's plenty of mind control.

How did the X-men get turned into younger versions of themselves, you wonder? Well, during an otherwise uneventful training session in the Danger Room, the X-men and Magneto got covered in some weird form of ectoplasm when someone just teleported in, along with all that goo.

The mysterious stranger would turn out to be Longshot. But he doesn't really play any part in this story, spending most of it in a coma in the X-men's med-bay. And its not like the X-men or New Mutants have any time to focus on him... the X-men appear to be deaging at an alarming rate. 14 year old Kitty Pryde is turned into a young girl overnight. This prompts Warlock and Cypher to research this change. Of course by merging together... mind control by any other name...

The 'team surpreme' is able to deduce what's causing the X-men's problems but alas... the young X-men appear to be under someone's influence because they act rather irrational.

Nice to see forced infantility hasn't dulled Magneto's mean streak. The soon to be X-toddlers commandeer professor Xavier's limousine as they seek out Mojo and Spiral. Note the dialogue in the last panel. Apparently Kitty's reverted to a pre-potty trained state. Charming. Still, diaper changes or not, the team soon locates Mojo at an old theatre downtown. And he's more than happy to see them.

"Please, sir... may we come in and play?"

"Of course, little wind-rider... That's why I am here... to play with you!"
Mojo luring in a bunch of innocent, googly eyed children with a sadistic smile and the promise he wants to 'play' with them just seems... wrong. Lets just agree any sexual undertones are completely unintended and move on.

Meanwhile back at Xavier's, the New Mutants had recovered from Magneto's whammy and figured it was up to them to save the X-men from whatever evil scheme Mojo was up to. This prompted the X-babies to consider themselves replacement X-men. Figuring they had to take up the mantle, the teen team decided to dress for the part and donned their graduation uniforms for the rescue mission.

Just look at those Art Adams designed costumes. Fair's fair, Cypher's costume makes him look like an off colour Cyclops, Warlock basically mimicks Superman and Mirage's impossibly tall legs in that outfit make her look like a cross between a stripper and an extra from a Cher video.

But the designs for Magma, Karma and Wolfsbane are actually pretty decent. Adams really went to bat designing these, as it turns out, one off costumes. And yet, the design for Cannonball proved to be inspirational to, of all people, Rob Liefeld, when he designed Sam's first X-Force garb.

Anyhoo, Magik uses her, well, magic to locate Mojo and her teleportation powers allow the new X-men to pop right into the theatre Mojo is using as a hideout. As it turns out, the place isn't as deserted as they had expected. In fact, there's a huge crowd waiting for some action... And action is what everyone is about to get when the all new X-men meet their all screwy predecessors...

"... Let the play truly begin!"

Ahhh, yeah... Part of Mojo's de-aging whammy was a mind control spell that bound the X-men to him as they regained their lost years. Of course, that meant they were dressed as twisted versions of themselves. Just look at Magneto, a former victim of the third reich, wearing the uniform of a Nazi soldier. Rather jarring.  But as set ups to exciting fight scenes go, this one's a doozy...

In an interesting twist, Karma actually realises she has the power to possess people. So she should be able to take over the Mojo controlled X-men, right? She first tries that trick on Wolverine, who doesn't seem too fazed at first, even uttering the ironic "Nothin' can hold me!" as he's still under Mojo's influence.

Meanwhile Mirage and Sunspot are having similar problems with Rogue...

You might wonder why the audience hasn't fled during this obvious fight to the death. Well, that's because there's mind control involved there as well...

Spiral mind controls the crowd to stay put... After all, what's a resounding victory really worth without a captive audience to witness your triumph? Unfortunately, the battle goes poorly and the crowd gets restless which forces Mojo to act.

In the end, the former New Mutants are able to reign in the X-men and together they manage to turn the tables against Mojo and force him to retreat to the Mojoverse. The semblance of order restored, Mojo is allowed to close out the story in style...