Professor Xavier Doesn't Mind Controlling Genoshans

Remember when Chris Claremont decided to relaunch Excalibur as a series based on Genosha, starring professor Xavier and Magneto as they tried to help rebuild the devastated island after Charles' twin sister Cassandra Nova had demolished it with gigantic Sentinels? Hey, the year was 2004, it was a different time for all of us...

The first issue opens with Charles Xavier being dropped off on the shores of Genosha, carrying a casket that contains the body of... Magneto?

Yeah, this is a tricky one. Excalibur vol. 2 as the Genoshan adventures of the professor and company are called, follows hot on the tracks of one of Grant Morrison's final New X-men stories. Morrison had revealed the wise, peace loving mutant turned teacher Xorn to be Magneto in disguise... And before the X-men were able to stop him, Magneto had turned New York into a warzone, killing over 5000 people. Now, Xavier has come to Genosha to give his 'old friend' a proper burial. 

But it doesn't take long for him to get noticed by the local population who are trying to survive in the rubble of a once green and peaceful land. Charles is shadowed by a peculiar young girl...

Her name is Wicked and her mutant abilities take mind control to the next level. Y'see, she controls ghosts. Her powers allow her to summon the ectoplasmic forms of the dead and force them to do her bidding... It's mind control from beyond the grave. And, considering over 15 million people died on Genosha during Cassandra's Sentinel attack, she has plenty of cannon fodder.

Wicked and her friend, the young mutant shapeshifter called Freakshow, are forced to help out Xavier when he gets himself into a fair bit of trouble...Several Genoshan mutants aren't too pleased to see him, most notably the old X-men foe Unus the Untouchable who had gathered a band of mutant thugs to show Charles who was running the show. Unfortunately for poor ol' Unus, Freakshow ate him

"...My my, grandmother... what big teeth you have..."

With the threat of Unus dealt with, Charles decides to take on Wicked and Freakshow as his latest pupils... and that means exposing them to a little mind control.

"I'm a teacher, Freakshow."

"They're both exhausted. I merely made the thought of bed... irresistible."

Charles Xavier used his mental powers to simply... suggest... his young wards went to bed. Much to the surprise of....

 ... Magneto?

Yeah. It's quite the story to explain how the master of magnetism can be alive and well, levitating the coffin he's supposed to be in. But let's skip that...let's check in on Unus.

... Yup, eventually Freakshow reverted to his human form (the naked boy with the stop sign covering his genitals) and spit up the Untouchable Man. While Unus couldn't be hurt, his ego sure received a major pounding.

Masque minus mind control: Tea & Tentacles

After 100 entries on mind control, lets give that particular quirk of Chris' a little rest and focus on another of his guilty pleasures: the physical alteration and mutilation of his leading ladies... Preferably by having them grow tentacles for hands.

Now, before anyone stands up and yells 'tentacle porn alert!'... Keep in mind it might not be as Freudian as it sounds. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, even if its being written by a man whose female characters enjoy dressing up in black leather whenever they're feeling either naughty or evil.

In fact, involuntary body modification goes as far back as the 1950s and the dozens of goofy Superman stories involving mishaps with multicolored Kryptonite. Even Stan Lee had Spider-Man grow some extra arms, not to mention the Thing's unfortunate transformation or Bruce Banner's uncontrollable shifts into the Hulk.

Chris's dabbling in the genre really started during the Brood saga. The parasitic aliens allowed him to combine his first love mind control with his new sweetheart: unwanted transformation.

Speaking of tentacle porn, look at the stingers on thát one...

Pretty quickly after that storyline, Claremont decided to explore body modification and notions of beauty some more by having Angel captured by Callisto and her Morlocks Uncanny X-men # 169 & 170. Callisto planned to marry the beautiful X-man, no matter what the other X-men had to say. These issues also introduced the Morlock known as Masque, who... oh, let him explain his own shtick.

Incidentally, Uncanny X-men # 170 was one of the first X-men issues yours truly ever read. These scenes had a lasting impact on an eight year old's mind. 

"STOP IT!! She's not a toy, she's a human being... who deserves to be treated with dignity and respect!"

...Words to live by, Chris...

Anyhoo, Masque molds flesh as easily as clay, reshaping a person's body any way he sees fit... Unfortunately, he can't affect his own deformed figure, making him rather resentful of people he considers 'pretty'...

Masque would be responsible for several forced physical transformations, specifically the aforementioned tentacled ladies trick. But he was usually just plain cruel. Case in point: Look at what he put poor Kitty Pryde through in Uncanny X-men # 179. 

This scene only happened because Kitty was forced to honor the promise she made Caliban after he helped the X-men save Angel. In return, she would marry him and join the Morlocks. However, as part of the Morlock initiation ritual, Masque gets to radically alter your old appearance so you can truly start your new sewer life... fresh faced.

Kitty didn't really take to Masque's meddling, in a scene that nicely mirrors Nightcrawler's reaction nine issues earlier.

Angering a disfigured mutant who can turn you into anything he wants? Sheesh, and I thought Kitty was supposed to be the smart one.

Not exactly a pretty picture. But, easily reverted. In the years that followed, Claremont found Masque's real niche: tentacles! 

Jean Grey's transformation was all part of a plot too complex to explain here. But it involved Masque recasting some of the Morlocks into twisted versions of the X-men who at that time were presumed missing and/or dead.

After being utterly horrified by her new appendages, Jean actually learned how to control and use them in battle effectively. Naturally, this look was reversed before long. That didn't stop Claremont from having Masque try it again during the events of 2003's X-treme X-men storyline Storm: The Arena.

Targetting his old boss Callisto, Masque gave her a set of python like tendrils... an addition Cal actually welcomed and gladly kept her altered appearance at the end of the story.

Speaking of altered appearances... Remember how Masque's main frustration was being trapped in a horrifyingly scarred body his powers couldn't affect. This drove him to commit most of his violent, antisocial acts. Such a cruel twist of fate, if only he could help himself...

Say what? Claremont had Masque experience a secondary mutation that removed this limitation?

Wow, that means he'll jump at the chance to finally fix himself up. Can inner peace be far behind when one's greatest hang up has been dealt with?

Lets see how zen Masque looked when he appeared next...

Yup, he changed himself alright. From a sadistic, crusty, old disfigured man in the sewers to a beach blonde Marilyn Monroe-esque bimbo who likes to wear geisha outfits, and runs an underground superhuman fighting arena with her entourage of SM inspired lackies.

...

What an arc! Chris, you magnificent bastard you. Never...ever change, y'hear?

Kulan Gath's total mind control part I: Looking For Collared Wenches (No Fatties)

The events of Uncanny X-men 190 & 191 have been referenced numerous times on this blog. But apart from peripheral mentions, the utter mind control craziness and borderline fetish goings on haven't been covered yet. So lets dig in.

First things first: the ancient wizard Kulan Gath has been able to revive himself thanks to events covered HERE and HERE. He used the blood of innocents to power a potent master spell that converted all of Manhattan into his personal playpen. Buildings, items and people were all transformed into a suitable ancient Hyborean counterpart, with no knowledge of their previous lives.

Storm was living the life of a pirate, who was chased by Callisto and her band of Morlocks who acted as Gath's mind controlled toadies. This scene on page 4 of # 190 shows the tendency of this twoparter to indulge in all the mind control, bondage and SM fetishes this side of Cimmeria.

The masterspell only reached as far as Manhattan. Once you crossed the barrier, you'd revert to your old self again. This happened during Storm and Callisto's fight. The two managed to get to dry land where Storm was contacted telepathically by one of Gath's ancient enemies: Selene, the Hellfire Club's Black Queen.  

Quickly filling them in about the situation, Selene asked Storm and Callisto's help in defeating Kulan Gath. The two didn't really trust Selene, but it wasn't as if there was any other real choice. They moved back to the island where Gath had been busy mind controlling people left and right.

"By the maker!"

The techno organic alien Warlock looked on in horror as Gath twisted and reshaped his fellow New Mutants into new shapes that reflected all the evil they feel within. Luckily, not everyone was as easily swayed by Gath's magic.

After taking over Manhattan, the demon sorceror sought a means of tracking all super powered beings so he could bring them under his control. Wary of technology, he didn't use Xavier's Cerebro mutant detection system but combined Charles Xavier and the mutant detecting Morlock Caliban into one being. The docile Caliban went along with it, but Xavier wasn't so easily dominated.

Oh, never mind...

On a sidenote: the grotesque Xavier/Caliban creature is possibly how the real Caliban might have turned out back in the Chris Claremont / John Byrne days. The duo had the idea that this barely human looking mutant called Caliban was able to sense other mutants but was shunned due to his horrifying mutation. He'd join the X-men as an organic Cerebro, living in a seperate wing of the mansion.

Anyways, back to the story at hand. Kulan's guards finally managed to bring in Selene, which meant it was high time for some old fashioned 'torture the chained up scantily clad prisoner wearing the hot black leather bikini.'

"There, much better. Wenches are better seen, but not heard." 

No mouth and 6 penis like tentacles?

Chris, Chris... How this ever got past the Comics Code Authority back in the day is a wonder indeed.

Next time: Kulan Gath's total mind control part II: Ye Olde Mind Control

Don't mind (control) me, I'm crazy!

The fourth issue of Excalibur starts out in the offices of influental London banker Courtney Ross. She is quietly lamenting her relationship with Captain Britain that went sour after Brian Braddock mysteriously disappeared. Thinking him dead, she moved on with her life, but when Brian returned to the superhero scene, she found herself to be a target yet again...

Meet the Crazy Gang, an Alice in Wonderland inspired band of villains that are as inept as they are colorful. It didn't take Courteney much effort at all to escape from their clutches. Fleeing from the bank, she thinks she's safe when a police car happens to pass by. 

Alas, the car is driven by the real villain of the piece, Arcade. Using Arcade for this story actually makes sense, not only is he a well established X-men villain but he's also part of Captain Britain's rogues' gallery. By kidnapping Courteney, Arcade hoped to lure Captain Britain to his Murderworld for a rematch. Unfortunately, his way of luring the good Captain makes little to no sense.

Rachel and Kitty were enjoying a day off, living out the tired cliche of what all young women love to do: go shopping. But, at the cash register they noticed their paper pounds didn't have the actual queen on 'em but the Crazy Gang's Red Queen.

Now, from this they derived it was Arcade who was up to no good. A bit of a stretch, considering both Rachel and Kitty had never fought the Crazy Gang, nor did they have any knowledge about the Crazy Gang's recent alliance with Arcade. But hey, whatever gets you the furthest in those 22 pages a month, eh?

Meanwhile in a subplot that has nothing to do with mind control, but is still an interesting side note... Doctor Moira MacTaggert is travelling with her bodyguard Callisto to meet with Excalibur. Moira's found some anomalies in one of the team members' DNA which she wants to sort out. Nothing ever came of this, and not just because Moira, Callisto and the entire train were teleported off the face of the Earth.


If Claremont had gotten his way, it would have been revealed that the anomalous DNA readings meant Rachel didn't have a biological father. She would have been a Christ like figure, her mother Jean impregnated by the Phoenix Force acting like the biblical Holy Spirit. Sounds interesting, but still uncomfortably close to religious blasphemy for the PC 80s.


Getting back to the story at hand, it didn't take Excalibur very long to trace Arcade, the Crazy Gang and Courtney to an old, abandoned amusement park. But the fight didn't go exactly as planned, mostly because Captain Britain hadn't really figured out how to be a team player at that point.

Using an advanced piece of technology of his own design, the idiot savant Crazy Gang member Tweedledope switched his mind with Captain Britain's, causing some confusion. Which only got worse when he used a similar device on most of the other Excalibur members.

After Nightcrawler and Meggan got themselves swapped with the Crazy Gang's Jester and Knave, only Phoenix and Shadowcat were left in their proper minds and Captain "Tweedledope" Britain was hard at work to remedy that.

Admittely, as impressive as this looks, Phoenix is actually more affected by the psychic summons she receives from her baby brother Nathan Summers, covered in THIS entry. But that didn't mean Tweedledope's switcheroo tech didn't do the trick.

Never one to miss out on a brutal slaughter with zero odds of surviving, Arcade had Courtney Ross dressed up as the actual Alice in Wonderland, and the mind controlled Rachel was ever ready to obey the Red Queen's command to decapitate her. 

Yup... that's Tweedledope in the body of Captain Britain, biting the hiney of the actual Captain. Sure, why not. But, enough levity... Take us home, Shadowcat!   

"Was afraid of this. She didn't body-switch with the Executioner, she was possessed by him! To exorcise his influence... I'll have to slip completely inside her body... and open my mind totally to Ray's telepathic power... Gambling that the image of herself she sees through my thoughts...Will be enough to break her free..."

...Geez, and they still wonder why narrative thought bubbles are dead and gone. 

Still, Kitty saved Excalibur and Courtney and so far 4 of the published 5 issues of Excalibur relied heavily one one form of mind control or another. Wonder what issues 6 and 7 bring...

Oh. Right. 

Well, stick to what you know, I guess.